


rules are better when they're broken

by fatgeesesayhonk



Series: to keep in check is overrated [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Project Freelancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:50:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatgeesesayhonk/pseuds/fatgeesesayhonk
Summary: “Counselor! How can I help you?” Colorado says, voice impressively steady for how fake their innocence probably is.“Someone,” says Price, studiously ignoring Alaska, “filled my office with cans of shaving cream and then made them explode two hours ago. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, would you?”





	rules are better when they're broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lepord257](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lepord257/gifts).



“Motherf-”

Alaska yelps, catching someone’s weight as they barrel around the corner and directly into them. They come face to face with Agent Colorado, dressed in full armor, full weight in Alaska’s arms. A small sticker on Colorado’s helmet catches Al’s eye - “ _they/them!_ ” is spelled out in metallic red.

“Agent Alaska! You’re back!” Colorado says. “Tell me - do you believe in love at second sight?”

Alaska grins. “Why, did you just fall for me?” they say, deadpan and amused. Colorado gasps delightedly and rocks up onto their feet.

“You’re perfect thank you welcome back I’m sorry for falling on you,” they say.

“No harm no foul,” Alaska says easily. “Where’re you going so fast?”

“Well, you see, _someone-_ ”

“Ah, Agent Colorado,” says a familiar and _very_ unwelcome voice. Alaska turns, glad their helmet covers the look on their face when they see Aiden Price making his way toward them. Fucker probably thought the slow walk made him seem deliberate and scary. What a fucking tool. Beside Alaska, Colorado tenses.

“Counselor! How can I help you?” Colorado says, voice impressively steady for how fake their innocence probably is.

“Someone,” says Price, studiously ignoring Alaska, “filled my office with cans of shaving cream and then made them explode two hours ago. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, would you?”

“Absolutely not,” Colorado says.

Alaska sighs regretfully. “Colorado and I have been together since I got back from Alarsis this morning, sorry.”

Price looks suspicious. Alaska gazes back steadily, poker face on even though Price can’t see it.

“Can you prove that, Agent Alaska?” he says.

They squint at him. “...No,” they say, tone absolutely scathing. “What, you think I keep folders full of alibis on my person at all times?” They steamroll forward before Price can do more than open his mouth. “Why can’t you just check the security footage?”

Price’s jaw flexes. Alaska crows, silent and triumphant.

“The security footage,” he says tersely, “has been erased for the past forty-eight hours.”

_Holy shit,_ Alaska thinks, incredulous.

“Seems like overkill for a shaving cream prank,” they muse thoughtfully. Colorado coughs. “Though I suppose if you don’t have a scalpel, a sledgehammer’s a good second choice!”

Price turns and leaves.

“Dude,” Alaska says. “Dude. Did you seriously explode shaving cream in his office?”

“...Yeah,” Colorado says.

" _W_ _ithout me?_ ”

“...Yeah?”

“I can’t believe you had an opportunity to fuck with Price and you didn’t invite me. I want a divorce.”

**Author's Note:**

> alaska called dibs on killing price pretty much as soon as they met they hate his fuckin guts


End file.
